Trains, (No) Planes and Automobiles.

This past week I've done the King's Cross-Newcastle route three times.

Something I can always expect is an uncomfortable journey - usually caused by crap seats.

There is no feasible way to ensure comfort. I always get neck pains and find it easier to slouch but this in turn causes back pain...

I started thinking of this blog at 10:15pm on December 14. I expect to arrive in Newcastle at 1am and I'm Having a truly joyous journey.

Sense the sarcasm.

Having set off with 'enough' time to catch the train, I was met with horror just outside Baker Street, where the tube stopped for 20 minutes.

I have never prayed so hard to be on time in my life and almost cried as hope seemed to fade.

Thankfully, I made it into King's Cross with 30 minutes to spare. Phew!

Little did I know, but a further disaster awaited...

The usually very helpful people at GNER had managed to mess up my tickets which the 'Fast' Ticket machine refused to spit out. Nightmare.

I join the queue and I wait.

I continue to wait.

I approach the counter and explain my problem.

"Call Telesales using the red phone at the end of the desk," I'm told.

The phone looks like some sort of political hot line from the Cold War. And that's exactly what it was. Cold.

I rejoin the queue.

I approach the counter.

I explain the problem. Again.

After waiting and crying like a complete neurotic, the lady eventually prints me a new ticket.

Five minutes to departure. Shit.

I run. People get in my way and my blood boils. But still I run and by some miracle (it is Christmas after all), I get on the train and slump into my seat.

Time to relax. Or so I thought...

I really hate it when all you want to do is sit back, chill out and have a peaceful journey home, but two hyperactive five-year-olds ruin it for you.

Surely at 10.30 at night the little cretins would be too worn out to create untold amounts of noise?! Not so.

They giggle and they scream, causing me to frown like a disapproving old lady.

Normally kids don't bother me, but right now I'm tired, irritable and in a right foul fettle. So much so that if I had magic powers, my eyes would definitely be shooting daggers at all and sundry!

I have over two hours left of this agony.

All I can do is pray that the brats actually manage to wear themselves out and fall asleep, providing me with the much longed for peaceful atmosphere in carriage E of the 21:00 GNER service to Newcastle.

Well, it is nearly Christmas and sometimes miracles do actually happen...