I Am The Resurrection

I’m worn out. Exhausted. Drained.

The last few months and the last week in particular have eventually caught up with me. I’m not really sad anymore though. I’m not stupidly crying for no reason.

Instead, I think I’m in a state of shock. Stunned at recent and past events, and a little scared for the future.

My brain still doesn’t work though. Some days people talk to me and it just goes straight through me.

‘What?’ I ask in a daze.

I don’t know whats going on half the time. Don’t understand. Its all so confusing.

Its all so hard and just need a return to normality.

Slowly and surely though, I can see it coming.

This morning even, something clicked.

I read my horoscope courtesy of the magazine at Westminster News Online and Mystic Ed Hammond (I think he is actually psychic):

“Having narrowly escaped death last week it is time to embrace living. Don't do something amazing, the world is full of idiots doing amazing things, just do something that makes you smile.”

And then this song came onto my I-Tunes, as if heralding the whole need for ‘normal’ that I so desperately want…

Down down, you bring me down
I hear you knocking down my door and I can't sleep at night

Your face, it has no place
No room for you inside my house I need to be alone

Don't waste your words I don't need anything from you
I don't care where you've been or what you plan to do

Turn turn, I wish you'd learn
There's a time and place for everything I've got to get it through

Cut loose, cause you're no use
I couldn't stand another second in your company

Don't waste your words I don't need anything from you
I don't care where you've been or what you plan to do

Stone me, why can't you see
You're a no-one nowhere washed up baby who'd look better dead

Your tongue is far too long
I don't like the way it sucks and slurps upon my every word

Don't waste your words I don't need anything from you
I don't care where you've been or what you plan to do

I am the resurrection and I am the light
I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd like

I am the resurrection and I am the light
I couldn't ever bring myself to hate you as I'd like

‘I Am the Resurrection’ By The Stone Roses.