Harry Potter and the Collapse of English Literature

"What in the name of Fyodor Dostoevsky is the world coming to?"

That was the thought that rushed through my head when I read on the BBC news website that a helpline has been set up for Harry Potter readers who may get distressed as a result of the new book's outcome.

A helpline?!

Are they for real?

Surely the Bard himself would be spinning in his grave if he was aware of the depths of the barrels that supposed English literature is scraping?

I just don't understand how one series of pathetically written drivel can have had such an impact on the world.

Not to mention the idiots who CAMP out to ensure they get a copy of it. And this idiots are grown adults.

I'm in awe at the ridiculousness. The stupidty. The fact that JK Rowling has managed to make so much money.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Global warming

The subject of global warming is omnipresent in the media and political agenda these days, but what is it exactly?

Is it the description for a legitimate phenomenon caused by years of pollution and man-made devastation to planet Earth?



Or is it an exaggeration of climate change, which the government and media alike have spun out as another initiative to get everyone to behave as they would like them to?

According to the fountain of ‘knowledge’ that is wikipedia – something I’m sure journalists the world over refer to from time-to-time – Global Warming is:

“the increase in the average temperature of the Earth's near-surface air and oceans in recent decades and its projected continuation.”

Furthermore…

“The term ‘global warming’ is a specific example of the broader term climate change, which can also refer to global cooling. In common usage the term refers to recent warming and implies a human influence. The United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) uses the term ‘climate change’ for human-caused change, and ‘climate variability’ for other changes. The term ‘anthropogenic climate change’ is sometimes used when focusing on human-induced changes.”

Interesting stuff.

Personally, I hold meteorologists responsible. Also known as weather men/women.

Every morning before leaving for work, I check the weather on the bbc website to work out what I should wear, whether I’ll need a coat, an umbrella, which shoes are going to be most suitable etc.

Stupidly, I continue to believe that what the bbc’s bevy of meteorologists are telling me is true, despite the fact that they are continually erroneous in the predictions.

The most notable event in recent weeks was sitting in work all day, expecting dry weather, only to be greeted with the most heinous thunder and hail-storm known to man in the history of meterology.

A slight exaggeration I will admit, but how could they get it so wrong.

It is through flawed reports such as this that I base my main theory on – that the weather reporters are responsible for global warming.

No wonder the weather seems to be going to extremes if the people trained to let us know what is happening cannot even do that correctly.

Michael Fish. Need I say more?

Is it just me, or is everyone…

…suddenly religious?!

It seems that more and more celebrities are turning to God in their hours of need, whether it be from a stay in prison or to find a new man, for example.

What annoys me the most, however, is that most of these ‘zealously religious’ people haven’t actually shown such godly behaviour in the past.

Think about it: raucous partying, Kabbalah-worshipping, dangerous behaviour, media-suggested addictions etc etc – you get the picture.

But where does all this fit in with a Christian lifestyle and are these people actually sincere?

I truly doubt it.

Now, I’m not going to be hypocritical and pretend that I’m a good, saintly, practising Catholic because that would be an utter lie.

On the other hand, I like to think that I’m aware of the whole PR thing that many celebrities play.

Surely its just for media attention? To receive endorsement for their past follies and new way of life.

To get their new book in the top ten bestsellers, or to beat the Beckham’s at perfume selling.

Its all so fake.

Big Brother Presents...

I’m not going to write about the foibles of the wavering reality television programme, but rather, I refer to my own Big Brother, who is possibly one of the freakishly smart people I know.

I use the term ‘freakishly’ because he is, in fact, a fountain of knowledge without even trying to be.

This has always riled me to a certain extent because he never seemed to have to work very hard at school, but still managed to get amazing grades and exam results.

I, on the other hand, am comfortable with the fact that I am not always the brightest button in the box and so, have had to work relatively hard to get where I am today.

I think that’s enough praise and criticism for one blog, however. So to the point…

Since Brother is the ‘guru’ of knowledge, yesterday he introduced me to the wonders of Barbara Kruger.



I’d never actually heard the name before, but when I googled her name, the images which revealed themselves were instantly recognizable.

In fact, one of her images lies somewhere on a postcard in my Newcastle home after being purchased in the Tate Modern when I was 16.

‘I shop therefore I am’ it informs. So true.

Kruger’s work is filled with quirky statements such as these, set in white on red overlaid on black and white photographs; often of well-known images, such as Marilyn Monroe.



To me, they seem to be statements referring to society and perhaps the inherent sexism Kruger faced growing up in America during the latter half of the last century.

I may be wrong, but that is just what I think. Freedom of speech, right to express and hold opinions yada yada yada…

Anyway, she’s good so have a look!

End.