Sunday, October 08, 2006

Thought For The Day

Have you ever been surrounded by people and felt totally alone?
My gran died almost two years ago and this is how I felt. Breathless.
For some reason I've been thinking about her a lot today. I miss her love and wisdom. I miss her.
I remember visiting her in hospital in the weeks leading up to her death. She didn't look like my gran. She was thin and drawn - had lost so much weight. She seemed almost ashamed that she was ill and didn't want to be seen.
The last time I saw her she was unconscious.
Her eyes were closed but every now and then you could see them roll back in her head as her body jerked uncontrollably. I really hope she wasn't in pain.
I held her hand.
Even at 82, her skin was incredibly soft. Silky.
Later that day, she had died.
I've never felt so alone and so scared.
It felt like my whole world and my whole family had fallen apart, and it sometimes still feels that way.
I can safely say that I will never miss anyone as much as I miss my gran.
She was amazing.

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